There was this time…(pt. 15)
What made this time unusual was that she left me there.
There was this time…(pt. 14)
Hell, I’d settle for someone in Ventura knowing I was still alive at this point.
There was this time…(pt.13)
Giggling at our stealth and trying to find ways to shove martinis and steaming hot mushrooms into my purse…
There was this time…(pt. 12)
I hadn’t even noticed how far he’d run off, as it was so quick, until I spotted some 20-year-old in a microscopic bikini holding my dog in her hands.
Are you a jerk looking to date?
One thing that woman can take is a whoopin’.
What could possibly go wrong?
I didn’t practice loafing around all these years to start “exercising” now.
There was this time…(pt. 11)
The second time was me shooting cookie pieces out of my mouth trying to apologize for the Snickers incident.
There was this time…(pt. 10)
Danzig saves the Internet.
The Only Lesson
It’s like getting 3 free months of e-tickets to Disneyland but the only ride open is that rickety no-name roller coaster they built before liability suits were a thing.
Truly
Wondering at our luck in our escape, pride in each other’s soaring, we see that wherever it is we land, it’s surprisingly sunny there.
The No Toast Zone 