What made this time unusual was that she left me there.
Hell, I’d settle for someone in Ventura knowing I was still alive at this point.
Giggling at our stealth and trying to find ways to shove martinis and steaming hot mushrooms into my purse…
I hadn’t even noticed how far he’d run off, as it was so quick, until I spotted some 20-year-old in a microscopic bikini holding my dog in her hands.
One thing that woman can take is a whoopin’.
I didn’t practice loafing around all these years to start “exercising” now.
The second time was me shooting cookie pieces out of my mouth trying to apologize for the Snickers incident.
Danzig saves the Internet.
It’s like getting 3 free months of e-tickets to Disneyland but the only ride open is that rickety no-name roller coaster they built before liability suits were a thing.
Wondering at our luck in our escape, pride in each other’s soaring, we see that wherever it is we land, it’s surprisingly sunny there.