Have you ever sat up nights dreaming of someone’s demise? Have you ever focused so hard on someone getting their just desserts only to be disappointed by their head not exploding? Have you ever envisioned that someone running so hard, running hard but slower than you, from a bear? Or […]
I know that’s not a good way to say that but I’m keeping it. I happened to look over towards the sound of a freight truck sliding its back door shut and catch a glimpse of our new postal carrier. She’s attractive, fit, peaceful, pleasant, and seems quite content with […]
A question: what is the karma:schadenfreude ratio? I can’t seem to get an answer that satisfies. What I mean is, how much do I get to celebrate someone else’s misfortunes before karma bites me in the ass? This is important to me because Karma is probably the only thing that […]
My “assholeness”, you may have figured out by now, concerned reader, comes from a darker place. But that’s just me. Not everyone’s outlooks are made up of cherries and groovy disco, you know.
My hero: Calamity Jane
One of my favorite quotes of all time is one by Charles Manson. “Do what you do, do it well…and throw in something witchy.” Now, before you get outraged, surprised reader, there’s a reason it’s my favorite and not what you’re probably assuming. I don’t like it because it’s creepy-scary […]
I pray my new road to success is a bullet train powered by thinly-veiled resentment and mocking sarcasm because, so far, paying tolls with subservience and break-room-birthday-party-small-talk has gotten me nowhere.
I’m not saying it will happen, at least not any time soon. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be around to annoy everyone for way, way, WAY too long. Too long for you, too long for me, to the point of, “Seriously! Just shoot it already.” But just in case […]
Did you know that it was actually possible to take the high road in social media? It’s true. It happens all the time. As the trolls are out trolling, being assholes, banking those negative karma points, it is possible to actually ignore them and move on. Ours has become a […]