Anyone else would keep this to themselves

I didn’t practice loafing around all these years to start “exercising” now.
I didn’t practice loafing around all these years to start “exercising” now.
Kath, as I like to call her now, make her stand out like, well, a supermodel.
I pulled out the laundry soap drawer thingy to the washing machine but ripped it out instead and across the entire laundromat, hitting a walll and smashing into pieces.
Awkwardist of tales that begat an Internet phenomenon.