Welcome to the No Toast Zone
Tales of landing butter-side down.
The following stories are about the awkward in my life. Hopefully, you’ll enjoy them. If not, I’ll come to your house and tell you how wrong you are until you agree.
Please feel free to comment. I’ll feel free to ignore them. Or I’ll curl up in the fetal position and cry and cry and cry. But go ahead, I’m sure it’s “constructive” criticism anyway. -sigh-
Thanks. Keep being you, reading me, writing about you. Cheers.
Molly @ theNTZ
The Shizznizle
http://www.gizoogle.net If you want to feel like you are even a little bit hip…you’re still totally not. Still great fun. Thank you to the people at Gizoogle.net for redefining “cats” on Wikipedia forever.
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All of the Psycho, None of the Christian Slater Yumminess
It would happen no matter how hard I tried. Looking back, the sudden randomness was only his whim; and often a way to get me out of the house so he could groom the newest girly supply of the month.
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There was this time…(pt. 16)
The gate guard said the car had “Neil Diamond” stenciled on the window. That was enough for me and I jumped on my ride and took off.
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There was this time…(pt. 14)
Hell, I’d settle for someone in Ventura knowing I was still alive at this point.
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There was this time…(pt.13)
Giggling at our stealth and trying to find ways to shove martinis and steaming hot mushrooms into my purse…
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There was this time…(pt. 12)
I hadn’t even noticed how far he’d run off, as it was so quick, until I spotted some 20-year-old in a microscopic bikini holding my dog in her hands.
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What could possibly go wrong?
I didn’t practice loafing around all these years to start “exercising” now.
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There was this time…(pt. 11)
The second time was me shooting cookie pieces out of my mouth trying to apologize for the Snickers incident.
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The Only Lesson
It’s like getting 3 free months of e-tickets to Disneyland but the only ride open is that rickety no-name roller coaster they built before liability suits were a thing.
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The No Toast Zone 