All Your Thoughts Are Belong to Us

Sure, you TOTALLY have free will. Totally. Keep on thinking that, bro.

I’m Not a Bigger Person

Have you ever sat up nights dreaming of someone's demise? Have you ever focused so hard on someone getting their just desserts only to be disappointed by their head not exploding? Have you ever envisioned that someone running so hard, running hard but slower than you, from a bear? Or are you lame? Hm? Don't... Continue Reading →

You Need Our Dark

My “assholeness”, you may have figured out by now, concerned reader, comes from a darker place. But that's just me. Not everyone's outlooks are made up of cherries and groovy disco, you know.

Add “Pigeon-hole” to My Murder?

It happens. My little girly brain thinks about things; even stuff not relating to ducks. But, as you know, thinking is tough for the penis-less. We’re just silly girls made for pairing and breeding; not thinking or obstinately expressing those thoughts. I mean, what else are we here for? Not much else, I can assure... Continue Reading →

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