The No Toast Zone
Not as bland as toast, but just as spicy
Category: Humor
-
Why is being a woman so damn funny?
-
I know that’s not a good way to say that but I’m keeping it. I happened to look over towards the sound of a freight truck sliding its back door shut and catch a glimpse of our new postal carrier. She’s attractive, fit, peaceful, pleasant, and seems quite content with her duties. Being it such…
-
My “assholeness”, you may have figured out by now, concerned reader, comes from a darker place. But that’s just me. Not everyone’s outlooks are made up of cherries and groovy disco, you know.
-
My hero: Calamity Jane
-
One of my favorite quotes of all time is one by Charles Manson. “Do what you do, do it well…and throw in something witchy.” Now, before you get outraged, there’s a reason it’s my favorite and not what you’re probably assuming. I don’t like it because it’s creepy/scary and makes me all shivery—it doesn’t. I…
-
I pray my new road to success is a bullet train powered by thinly-veiled resentment and mocking sarcasm because, so far, paying tolls with subservience and break-room-birthday-party-small-talk has gotten me nowhere.
-
-
I’m not saying it will happen, at least not any time soon. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be around to annoy everyone for way, way, WAY too long. Too long for you, too long for me, to the point of, “Seriously! Just shoot it already.” But just in case I land tits-up in some…
-
Did you know that it was actually possible to take the high road in social media? It’s true. It happens all the time. As the trolls are out trolling, being assholes, banking those negative karma points, it is possible to actually ignore them and move on. Ours has become a very bare-naked, explosively explicit, vulnerable…
-
Here’s a little tip; something you may not know about me. A Pro-Mo tip, if you will. There’s no real reason why you should know this so don’t get all angsty for not knowing something, even though I’m totally appalled at your misstep. How can I count on you, faithful reader, to properly stalk me…
The No Toast Zone 