Humor – The No Toast Zone

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There was this time…(pt. 15)

What made this time unusual was that she left me there.

Hell, I’d settle for someone in Ventura knowing I was still alive at this point.

Giggling at our stealth and trying to find ways to shove martinis and steaming hot mushrooms into my purse…

I hadn’t even noticed how far he’d run off, as it was so quick, until I spotted some 20-year-old in a microscopic bikini holding my dog in her hands.

One thing that woman can take is a whoopin’.

I didn’t practice loafing around all these years to start “exercising” now.

The second time was me shooting cookie pieces out of my mouth trying to apologize for the Snickers incident.

Danzig saves the Internet.

There was this time, pt 9
Loggins and Messina redemption.

John Cleese thinks I’m the best Longs Drugs employee ever.