There was this time…(pt. 7)

Because of awful circumstances I’d rather erase from my mind entirely, I fell into a job that proved to be yet another source of incredible stories that no one seems to believe are real. If it weren’t me doing it, I’d doubt it, too. I don’t make stuff up easily. Because there never seems to... Continue Reading →

There was this time…(pt.6)

I keep saying it'll be my last story but then I think of another one… I was having martinis with some friends at the Biltmore in Montecito. This is around 2000. I think. I don't know anymore. What I remember is that I noticed my friend, Craig, was in the lobby and not joining our... Continue Reading →

There was this time…(pt. 5)

This one is more embarrassing than body-slamming a supermodel. Don't worry, I'm gonna to tell you anyway. My friends are good friends with a well-known author. A very well-known author. Not some slouchy, dime store, cozy novelist. A real writer of Literature. No begrudging anyone at all with the creativity, determination, discipline, and drive to... Continue Reading →

There was this time…(pt. 4)

I met three Hollywood tough guys almost 20 years apart. All three were the nicest people. Keep in mind that while two of these incidents were while I was working, only the first one was I wearing a name tag. I don’t normally wear a name tag but only because they fall into that vortex... Continue Reading →

There was this time…(pt. 3)

The time I met a supermodel was the most un-supermodel-y moment I could’ve come up with. We met each other, but we were never formally introduced. One morning, I woke up to no water. That was particularly painful as I’d indulged in far too much fermented grape juice the night before. Apparently, the whole apartment... Continue Reading →

There was this time…(pt. 2)

The time I met Christopher Lloyd was epic and iconic. Sort of. The movie was already 20 years old back then. I happened to come across a friend who ran an auto-detailing shop in Santa Barbara who was waiting at the curb for a client to show up. I don’t remember the car the client... Continue Reading →

There was this time…(pt. 1)

Once Melinda and I came out of a restaurant in the Upper Village of Montecito after a long lunch and got into her car to go home. Long after I went through the CDs and wondered when she became a Art Garfunkel/John Oats fan... Long after she fully adjusted the driver’s seat, rearview mirror, shoulder... Continue Reading →

Which Would You Rather Have Nest in Your Hair?

Yeah, I know they don't fly. It was the least disgusting pic I could find. Back off. Kiss?Magnum PI-infestation is rampant on Oahu. Stay away. I only read this "viral" article because I remember my parents also thinking I had an imaginary friend when I told them about the little creature living outside my bedroom... Continue Reading →

All Your Thoughts Are Belong to Us

Sure, you TOTALLY have free will. Totally. Keep on thinking that, bro.

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